Some lessons of life

Since the beginning of life, I have always compared. Compared marks, effort, efficiency, and what not. I've always wanted myself to be on the leading side; I even mean be the one putting in more effort but then I do expect better efficiency as well.

But this life, never works the way you want. This is something I've learned through innumerable incidents and events. But I've also learnt one thing. . . "THOU SHALL NOT COMPARE"

Before me are living examples of GOD... These are people who are way beyond the worldly worries. Nothing, absolutely nothing can push them to worry. I love to see this attitude. Some might find it irritating, some irrational. But how I see it is that it lets them concentrate on what makes them happy.

If you didn't get the importance of the last statement, let me make it more clear. This gives them the opportunity to devote 100% of their attention to what they love doing unlike most of us who's lives are occupied by things that we do just to ensure that they don't trouble us. We do most things because not doing them makes us worry.

Let me give you an example. I study some subjects just because not studying them gives me the fear of failing. But these guys don't get that fear. So such a guy would spend more time on what he likes and be happier.

I guess you get the point. I envy them, I envy their attitude, I envy their capability and I aim to be one of them. But I fear the impact of "Not comparing" on me. Will I be as happy as them and improve my performance or is it the way my brain motivates itself, to keep the challenge alive.

But once again, talking about performance, I'm coming back to the comparison.

One year -One full circle --A tribute to JEE-09

On 12th April 2009, I gave the most important exam of my life; so important that I've devoted many of my blog-articles in memory of the exam; and here is another one, on the first anniversary of 'MY' version of IIT-JEE.

Never before had I given so much importance to anything in my life. Never before had I wanted something so desperately in life. That exam holds a huge significance in my life, and in life of all those who have given the exam at some point of time. I don't want to talk about the IITs and related benefits et cetera; but I want to talk about just about IIT-JEE and its impact.

This exam, given by over 4 lakh students each year, changes the life of many and it changed mine too. Now, it is not just the mere acievement that is memorable but so is the journey. It is hard to believe that I could commit myself to it to such an extent that everything else seemed insignificant. Even the pleasure of watching a movie seemed worthless (I recollect myself watching some good movies and 3-4x their actual speed). The journey, and its successful culmination, has a left a mark on me (not like that on Harry Potter). Every challenge now seems attainable; nothing in this world seems impossible. Now, there lies in some part of my heart, a desire to take up new challenges just for the pleasure when it is achieved. Now, my age old dream to leave a mark on the society seems possible. Now, it seems that "I can" do what I commit myself to or rather I 'KNOW' I can.


Now -one year after the exam, one year since the end of the "TOUGH TIMES", one year since the end of "THE EXAM - IIT JEE 2009" - I know the importance of this exam : it lies not in the subsequent admission to IITs but in the deep impact on one's self-confidence.

Searching for HOPE in RUINS

Does it pay to know? Does it ever pay to love what you do? Will practice ever prove its worth in my life?

None of the above questions is new, but the recurrence is traumatizing. These questions have come up over and over, probably since the time I was born. How many times have I been tested at something I love to do; love it much more than all others who are being tested as well. But who turns out to be more successful, not me, of course. I fail, very often, in proving my skill at what I love, and I despise this fact.

With such frequency, I would love to give up. Won't it be so easy? Or maybe just tune yourself to ignore the results of such assessments. But is the way out? Is this in some way an indication, that I'm not completely honest to what I love? Does it mean that I need to give much more time; does it mean that I haven't given n enough so far?

It seems I've failed in my effort to please someone I love, and the one who has, will now take over. I've failed despite my stronger affection; despite my appreciation of each and every thing to do with my love, while the winner doesn't and can't do the same.

But I can't lay my weapons, can I? Having come so far following my heart, I'll be nowhere if I just let go of the dream. So I'm forced to move on. All I hope, is that the love is not lost on the way, cause the only worse thing that can now happen to me is "Losing interest and still succeeding" (though that won't be success altogether).

All I want now, and will work towards, is to show my dedication to what I love and I'm sure, I'll get back all I need in return.

if(state==bored){ write blog }

Look at the watch, sigh, open the 'pdf', try to focus, sigh within seconds thinking minutes have passed, open browser, surf the net (not going to facebook) and then repeat the cycle.

Since the past 30 minutes, I've been stuck in the same cycle, multitasking and frequently switching the active program. Various thoughts surface, some of them that haunt more often are :

1. I've an exam tomorrow, I should study. Its my favourite subject but with some
boring topics.
2. To hell with the 'hardware of computers'. Who doesn't know it? (This is followed
by the answer - Me).
3. How about writing an article for my Blog? What will I write about?

So here I'm in a confused and bored state of mind. I hope that after seeing my thoughts, you'd have realised that I've a Computer Science exam tomorrow. Yes, it is the subject I like the most, but it also covers some topics that are not worth being tested. The whole idea of being asked questions to test how well you know the hardware, kills the motive to study to learn.

Well that can't be helpeed, so lets not discuss that.

but I've nothing to write about......

if(blog_idea==NULL) {end;}

One problem - 'n' years - No solution

Why do we have tests/exams?

Yes that's the question that's been bothering me throughout my academic life.

I wirte this article with an impending MATHS quiz just 11 hours (or rather lesser) away. All I have in mind.... Why the hell do I have to appear for it, or even I forget about this one, why do I have to appear for all those in the next week?

It has always been very hard for me to understand the motive behind exams. Lets assume the most common answer is the truth, "to ensure revision and make sure everything is understood".

Well, that might have been true in some age I didn't exist, because all that I've seen, the marks secured have absolutely no relation with what we know.
Do they? Aren't they suppose to have some relation. I mean, my marks in a test should reflect how much I had understood. But unfortunately(or maybe fortunately) it doesn't work that way.

Many of us have seen it over and over again. People with lesser understanding or maybe the same can end up with more marks. Leaving aside the cheating part, yet it often comes true. So if the system doesn't give the desired result, why not just scrap it.

So many times we have seen that those with great grades too can't solve practical problems. So if eventually what matters are the solutions to practical problems, why have theoretical tests.

OK. Maybe we can leave aside Maths as a lot of it is theoretical but what about others. And why the hell don't we have the right to choose what I want to study. If to this the authorities have to say that we might not know what we need to study in the field, won't we understand as we go along. Won't it be more fun if I were to realise that a topic that interests me demands me to be thorough with another topic? Won't I be more motivated to study that way? Won't I learn more that way?

I know these statements are of no value. This system and method has been prevalent since ages and it'll take a really good effort to find a more fool-proof method and even more effort to convince the authorities to change their ways.

Till any one of us comes up with that great idea (which I hope comes soon), I guess we have no option but to slog (talking about topics I don't like - not exactly counting in Maths) and show that you know it even though you don't.

All the best to all the others in the world who are trying to attain the same goal.