Almost 8 months ago, I had a gone through a fierce battle, so fierce and grand in magnitude that it'll be appropriate to call it a WAR. With lot of hopes, expectations and eyes on me, I went out for the war. Well prepared, confident and with a definite target in my eyes. But alas, as said earlier, things don't work as we want them to. But what was to blame this time was not by laziness, but my attentiveness. Whatever was the cause, the outcome was not pleasing. In a tussel, many lost all they had but again I came out with severe bruises and injuries. Though still I managed to get my hands on my goal, those marks serve as memories to the horrifying day. Friends crying, both for themselves and others, hope lost, faith lost. It was one of those few times when death seems such a good option. The option to start all over seems so enticing, sometimes better than getting any rewards for the unsatisfactory performance. But then time passes, and healing begins. Some vows taken, promises made and the journey continues. One such promise was, "This shall be my worst experience, and no other in future".
"Promises are meant to be broken". And soon we end up on the path of tragedy again. Despite clear indication of a tough time ahead I took less pains. No pain no gain. So when came the brutal time, I as beaten (not to death) among many others (a consolation). Still to survive with new marks and the old ones. The old bruises bleed as new. And bleed even more when I see long lost friends bleeding not at all (engaged in different battle). I know I shall not compare, but its hard to accept, how the members of the same team end up in different positions and perform differently. Some like me lose their mind (and hence their way) while others stick to their path.
As I see them around me, a feeling of envy rises within me. An anger, not caused by others success but my failure, not in battle, but the failure to try my best.
But just like sun shines over us after every dark night, hope rises within me. This was a meager battle. The war can still be won.