Thursday, December 17, 2009
Beyond Copenhagen
CHOICES
Here I stand facing diverging roads
Very different from what I've seen before.
Unaware of what lies far ahead
On the various paths present,
I yearn for a guiding hand.
Despite a huge circle of friends
I stand alone confused.
As each one of them have a vision
Of the very distant future, and
Prepare to tread along their chosen routes
The best help is miles away
Immersed in their own problems of the day.
The safest choice for me is to follow the trend
And avoid the road less often taken
Keeping in mind that the safest might not turn out to be the best
Such thoughts trouble me even more
As I'm shaken down to the very core'
Still unaware of what I fear more
Encountering failure on the empty road
Or the absence of satisfaction where the traffic flows
While one path leads to my heart's desire,
Though it does so in a vulnerable manner,
The other guides me to mental secutiry
And that too in a very secure fashion.
Thus making the choice hard to make.
Here I stand facing diverging roads
Very different from what I've seen before
Unaware of what lies far ahead
On the various paths present,
Clinging on hope to survive this enigma
I finally choose to ride the wave
And, for once, submit to the circumstances
Hoping that it doesn't make
Me regret at later stages.
So I just ride along only to be
Thrown on to a piece of land
Where I know what I need
And work towards realising some new-born dreams.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
AN ATTEMPT TO WRITE A TRUE BLOG
Today i realised that a blog shouldn’t be as serious as mine but one that should invite readers. Tough for me. Cause till now all I might have invited with my blogs is either abuse or jobless web-surfers.
So I begin by telling my readers (if any) about myself. I’m a B-Tech student in CSE from IIT-Guwahati in my first year. Ya, I know those who are less aware of IITs think that I’m not in the best place. Maybe not for you, but can’t say the same about me. All I wanted throughout the preparation of IIT-JEE is CSE in one of the 7 IITs and I have it. So now I’m doing my dream course from my dream institute and so I should be all happy and cheerful etc etc. But here comes the catch. I’m the sort of guy whose happiness is determined by not only his success in achieving aspiration but also the academic performance. Though in most cases they are the same. And I’m getting to realise it better. I mean, I feel I’d be much happier if I could score more in such a premiere institute. For those who haven’t guessed it yet, yes, I’m a low scorer in my first sem in IITG. Definitely not a good start. Not even close to what I dreamt of.
SO what do I do now. Move on and like before let my wounds be healed by time.
Well I plan something more grand, at least compare to former option.
So what do I plan to do? Well to begin with, I PLAN to finish as much of my course as early as possible (some of even before I start off with the sem). Secondly, I PLAN to be more regular (it’s a cliché if you know me personally). Thirdly, I PLAN to stay away from most of my seniors (whom I despise and soon when my vacations end, u’ll see this as the only possible place where I’ll vent out my anger against them.) Fourthly, .... You get the idea.... Basically I PLAN to be all nice student and stuff. The student I’ve always inspired to be. But so far the only time I came close to being one was when I was preparing for JEE. So what’s the incentive now...
Hard to say. No short term gains besides a good CPI (which is in some way a mark of respect) but a long term prospect.
Yes i do have a long term prospect. I am for GOOGLE. I know what you are thinking. “Another jerk with a far-fetched goal.” Maybe. But what if it’s not so far-fetched? What if I do get there because of my effort? What if those very grades I despise now are a blessing in disguise and help me re-gain focus?
What if...? Well these questions always haunt me. And maybe that is the reason I work. What if I fail tomorrow? What if I work today and gain what I’ve aspired for due to these efforts? What if despite all barriers between me and the goal, I somehow get it?
Not convinced ? Well lemme give you an example. What if I do some project tomorrow, with some unimaginable consequences? What if GOOGLE knows me then?
So now you think I should work?
Well this began with an attempt to humour my readers but I guess I can’t succeed in that. My arena is serious writing but again what if my attempts transform me. I guess after all this is said, it’ll be safe to assume that the quotation that drives me through this life is, “Aim for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”
So this is me signing out readers (whoever there is interested to read it.)
PS: I guess those who know me have identified the writer of this article, because it has some of the peculiar things very hard to find in every other person
Monday, December 14, 2009
A very common battlefield called LIFE
Fear of Failure
Some things happen in your life, definitely not the way you wanted them to be. But not directly or entirely your fault. And you are so scared of the outcome that you just wish that you never have to face the day that tests you or points out all your mistakes. You just wish you could be stuck in the preparation phase forever. Never getting to see the judgement day. But the fateful hands of a clock don’t stop. So what do you do. Do you ram into the situation with all you have or you give in. Give in to regret later. Though giving in sounds easier, it isn’t the best way out. Giving the best you have might sound one of those morals from fables, but it isn’t easy as well. It takes more than all you have to be able to give your best. One of the causes: our inability (unlike what most people want to think) to multitask at the conscious level. What happens eventually is that you spend more time regretting about how you could have won the battle with ease had you prepared in time. But then as I said, you can’t go back in time. So then you imagine what you would do for the next battle, that is if you somehow manage to get past this. But getting alive out of a lost battle also has something terrible in store. Though your loved ones will accept you once again and over and over again; deep down they are aware of your faults, mistakes and irresponsible behavior (passing on the blame from one thing to another). And this looms in their eyes, talks, gestures, etc. This adds on to the guilt.
But the future can’t be controlled as well. So all that remains is the present. Giving in your best is all that you can do now hoping to reduce that guilt later. Give in anything less than that, and you give the world another stress victim and subsequently a failure in all aspects.
You fail not when you have not succeeded but when you stop trying.